


Partners in Crime

by impressionism



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-09 13:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20995457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impressionism/pseuds/impressionism





	1. Chapter 1

“Everyone here? Okay, good. George, don't touch that! Or is it Fred? Oh, forget it-Why can’t you boys be more like Percy?”

It was Harry’s second year at Hogwarts, and he was with the Weasleys, walking to Platform 9 and ¾. Ginny lagged behind, looking rather pale now at the prospects of going to Hogwarts for the first time. Percy was at the front of the group, robes billowing as he pushed his trolley through the crowds. Harry and Ron were comparing chocolate frog cards. George- or maybe Fred- was heckling Errol the owl. Mrs. Weasley was red-faced and flustered. Everything was normal- or at least, as normal as you can get when you're a wizard.

Then Fred and George’s friend arrived, and everything went from normal to chaos in the blink of an eye.

“Oi!” a familiar voice called. Everyone turned, and the twin’s faces split into enormous grins. A girl was barreling towards them at full speed, pushing a creaky trolley holding beat-up trunks and one concerned-looking owl. 

“Kylie!” Fred exclaimed, picking her up and spinning her around as Ginny and Harry caught her trolley. “Fred! Put me down, you _slimeball_!" Kylie screamed, smacking his shoulders in futile. She was one of the only people who could consistently tell the difference between the twins, even when they tried to confuse her. Kylie feebly waved her arms around, managing to hit his head twice before he finally relented.

“Nice to see you too, Kylie,” he said with a huff as he set her down, ruffling her hair as she shouted. Behind them, Percy shook his head and tsked before he strode quickly through the barrier and vanished. Kylie rolled her eyes- how could Fred and George be remotely related to that uptight man? Even Mrs. Weasley was better than that, and she was a _mom_.

“Oh, cheer up," George said, holding his hands up when she whipped around to glare at him pointedly. "You're not going to get anywhere with that attitude, and we have a great year of pranking ahead of us!”

Kylie perked up at that. “Yeah! Zonko's had this crazy sale and I brought a whole crate of dungbombs in my trunk! First I was thinking we could go after the Slyth-”

She trailed off when she saw Mrs. Weasley looking at her disapprovingly. “Oh, uh… hi everyone!” Kylie said, rubbing the back of her head. "How was your summer?"

Ron rolled his eyes. “They’re at it again!" he whispered to Harry. "You have no idea how many pranks they have pulled together. You saw nothing last year. Kylie spent the first half of the summer with us, before she went on vacation to America. I woke up one morning and my hair was pink! Mom was scrubbing my head for hours before it finally rinsed out, and then they replaced the soap with Frog Spawn soap!"

While Ron continued to tell Harry tales of Fred, George, and Kylie's antics, the trio said goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley as they pushed their trolleys through the wall and reached the crowded platform. They pushed through throngs of parents and pouting younger siblings waving off students, finally boarding the Hogwarts Express with a sigh of relief. The three hauled their trunks down the corridor, quickly choosing an empty compartment and settling into the plush checkered seats as they talked on about their summertime exploits and pranks.

As Kylie talked about her prank on the London Eye, George suddenly went stiff. "Did either of you see Harry and Ronnie-kins get on the train?" Fred shrugged. “They're probably on the other side of the train,” Kylie said. George nodded and the topic was quickly forgotten as Kylie started talking about the prank again and the train set off. 

The countryside sped by in great green flashes as the three sat cross-legged on the compartment floor, eating an old box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans that Kylie had saved from last year. She bit into a speckled brown one before recoiling and gagging. “Dog food,” she choked out, looking around for water.

“Dog food isn't the worst one," George said indignantly. "I got a Booger flavored one earlier! That’s happened to me twice now!"

"I guess like really does attract to like, huh?" Fred said, laughing as he dodged the two beans George pelted at him.

“Who is the new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher?” Kylie asked. 

“You mean you haven’t heard?” George said, wide-eyed.

“Of course she hasn’t! She doesn’t get the Prophet, and her parents are muggles!"

“Well, Kylie, the new defense teacher is none other than the great, the magnificent-“

“The dazzling, the amazing-“

“Gilderoy Lockhart!” they crowed together, bursting into laughter at Kylie's sour expression.

Kylie groaned. Lockhart was going to be their teacher? “That’s just lovely. I saw a picture of him once. My eyes hurt for the rest of the day....” A flash of blue caught her eye and she rushed to the window, pressing her nose against the glass as she craned her head upwards to look at the grey skies.

“Are your eyes still hurting?” Fred asked. She shook her head quickly and beckoned for them to come over. The twins followed her gaze out the window before their jaws dropped. High in the sky was a flying car, following the train as it swerved from side to side. And inside were Harry and Ron, looking straight at the three of them. Harry was waving his arms wildly, and Ron’s hair looked as messy as Harry’s usually was. The trio gaped at them, dumbstruck.

Once she snapped out of her daze, Kylie fumbled with the latches and opened the window. “WHAT ARE YOU NIMRODS DOING?” she yelled, sticking her head out the window.

“WE COULDN’T GET THROUGH THE PLATFORM BARRIER! STOP THE TRAIN!” Ron yelled. Harry nodded enthusiastically, looking around panickedly. 

Fred, George, and Kylie looked at each other.

“Well…” George started slowly.

“Any decent person would stop the train for them, using their amazing cleverness and stealth," Kylie continued.

“But then again…” said Fred.

“We’re not really decent people," all three said at once.

Fred stuck his head out the window. “SORRY! YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN! BEST OF LUCK!” He gave them two thumbs up and closed the window with a snap.

Harry and Ron looked furious, to say the least. Rot started yelling at them through the muffled window as the car shimmered, blending into the countryside once again.

Hermione walked into their compartment just then, looking worried. “Have you seen Harry and Ron?” she asked.

“Nope.”

“No way.”

“We thought they were with you.”

As Hermione left their compartment, the twins grinned as Kylie laughed. “They’re in for it now!”

“Wish they had let us ride in the car with them. They get to do all the fun stuff,” George muttered.

“We could blow up a toilet on them,” Kylie suggested, pointing at her crate of dungbombs. The twins looked at her admiringly, and Fred’s eyes shone with pride. “This is why we like you, Kylie.”

It was going to be an interesting year.


	2. Chapter 2

“Hurry up!” the impatient voice of Fred Weasley said. Kylie glared at him.

"I am hurrying! Don’t get your knickers in a twist. Anyone coming?”

George checked the Marauder’s map. “Nope. Everyone asleep. By the way, are you _sure_ that they really deserve this?” He asked uncertainly.

“Absolutely,” his twin replied.

They were in the Gryffindor common room in the middle of the night. The only light came from the small orange fire dancing gleefully in the fireplace, and the three prankster’s wands. With a flick of their wands, they had covered the room in a material that looked like spider webs. The thin, sticky material was hanging from the ceiling, connecting the furniture, and covering the floor. Kylie was transfiguring a few objects into fake spiders and placing them on the ‘webs’, for added effect.

The book that she was transfiguring turned into a real spider. “Eep!” she squeaked softly, dropping the spider. It scurried out of sight. “Well, I guess a few real ones can’t hurt.”

Fred grinned. “Brilliant. This is even better then the toilet idea, though we will have to do that someday. Ron is going to lose his mind when he sees this! Serves him right for not letting us arrive in the flying car.”

George sighed. “But doesn’t it seem a bit cruel? I don’t mind pranking Ron, of course. But what if we freak out the first years? They didn’t do anything. Well, most of them anyways. And what if someone gets in trouble for what we did?”

"I didn't know you had a moral compass," Fred said, although he looked thoughtful. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He snapped his fingers just as Kylie waved her wand, shooting out beams of bright blue light. The outline of the webs shimmered as they suddenly turned invisible and the common room looked normal again. “There. I cast a spell that'll leave the webs and spiders and nasty stuff invisible to everyone besides Ron."

"Brilliant!” the twins said together, high-fiving Kylie and grinning.

“I guess this makes up for your dismal grades and slight temper,” George said. 

"Slight temper?" Fred shook his head. "Nah, she’s downright scary when she’s mad.”

“Totally.” 

“Absolutely.”

“I’m right here, you know!” Kylie exclaimed. “Come on, let’s go back to bed. We wouldn’t want to miss the results of our prank in the morning.”

The next morning, they were awoken by a shrill scream. “SPIDERS!”

Kylie quickly got dressed and grabbed her wand. She raced downstairs, trying to keep a straight face. All of Gryffindor house soon joined her, including Fred and George. Fred winked at her.

Ron was running wildly around the common room, flailing his arms. His face was deathly pale. He yanked on the common room door, which didn’t open. He screamed again, rubbing fake webs out of his hair that only he could see. The entirety of Gryffindor house stared at him, wondering if he had lost his marbles.

Hermione waved her wand. “Specialis Revelio!”

“Crap!” George hissed, muttering an incantation under his breath that returned the room to its original state before anyone could see the spiders and webs.

Ron suddenly stopped. “It-It’s gone. But there were _spiders_. Spiders! And-and- webs, and they were everywhere”

The whole of Gryffindor house started laughing. Ron blushed madly and Hermione patted his arm consolingly. “I suspect that this was just an unkind prank,” she said, eying Fred, George, and Kylie, who looked down and shuffled out of the common room and headed for the Great Hall.

Once out of the common room, they started laughing their heads off. “Amazing! Did you see his face?” Fred gasped, trying to catch his breath.

“Absolutely!” George said, choking.

Kylie was laughing so hard she had doubled over, with tears streaming down her face.

In potions, she suddenly burst into a fit of giggles, remembering the events of that morning. Snape walked over to her desk. “Miss Jones, might I ask you what you find so funny?”

Fred looked alarmed. “Nothing, professor. We were just reviewing cheering charms in Charms class, and I think she got hit a little too hard” This was not altogether a lie, because they really had been reviewing cheering charms.

Snape stared at Fred as if trying to tell if he was telling the truth. Finally, he swept away and continued teaching the class. Fred whispered to Kylie, “You owe me big time.”

“I know.”


	3. Chapter 3

_I think I’m going to die of boredom,_ Kylie wrote on a piece of paper, before levitating it and blowing it in the direction of the twins. They slouched into their seats in Professor Lockhart’s class, where said loon was talking excitedly and at length about the time he'd fearlessly killed a yeti and saved an entire village. At the same time the professor, and the six portraits of him, was flashing smiles that could have won him Witch Weekly’s Most-Charming-Smile Award. Well, at least Mrs. Weasley would've liked the class.

George scribbled something on the note and levitated it back to her when Lockhart wasn’t looking. _Well, if you’re going to die, hurry up and get a move on. Maybe you’ll cause a distraction._

Kylie angrily wrote back. _I thought you were the nice one! Fred, don’t just sit there and grin! Besides, even if I died, Lockhart would probably just keep bragging about himself._ Fred received the note and nodded slowly, before his eyes lit up and started scribbling furiously on the piece of parchment paper as he whispered to George. Kylie raised an eyebrow, smiling as he finally sent the note back to her. 

_You have a point. But I just had a brilliant idea. Picture this: You’re sitting in a dull class, taught by some dumpy old teacher going on about things you could care less about, like yetis or goblin revolutions. You take out a candy, pop it in your mouth, and get a horrible nosebleed. When the teacher sends you to Madam Pomfrey, you eat a different candy and you're cured! Then you can spend the next hour doing whatever you want!_

Kylie read the note and stared at Fred for a moment._ When did you get so smart?_

_I am smart! I simply ooze intelligence! Besides, you're one to talk about being smart._

They would've done this for the rest of class, but after an hour, a Slytherin boy saw them and incinerated the note with a conspicuous wave of his wand.

After ten minutes of boredom, Fred and George put their heads on their desks and pretended to snore loudly. The class started giggling and whispering so much that even Lockhart noticed. “Well! Someone a little tired? Maybe this will wake you up! I need three people to help re-enact my fight with the yeti! Fred, you be the yeti! George, you’re the slightly helpful villager! Kylie, you’re the person the yeti is holding hostage!”

The three of them exchanged evil looks and made their way to the front of the room. Lockhart smiled. “Now, Kylie you stand over there, looking terrified. A bit more terror! That’s it! George stand next to me, and look slightly helpful but clueless. Fred, you stand next to Kylie. Now give me a roar!”

Fred screwed up his face in a dreadful imitation that made the whole class burst into peals of laughter “ROAR! YOU CAN NEVER KILL ME, FOR I AM BIG AND FAT! YOU WILL NEVER SAVE THIS POOR, DEFENSELESS VILLAGER!”

Kylie gasped a little. “Save me! Please help! Save me from this fat yeti who probably ate too many chocolate frogs!” She pretended to faint, leaning back as George swooped to catch her.

The class went wild, but Lockhart frowned. “This isn’t how it happened!”

George looked around. “Where do we use the bathroom around here?”

Lockhart stomped his foot in frustration, just as the bell rang and class was dismissed. The twins and Kylie ran out, laughing and high-fiving each other.

Oliver Wood walked past them at that moment, stopping in the hallway and tugging on the twins' robes. “Hey, you two! Practice tomorrow at 6 a.m. sharp!”

The twins groaned as he walked away. “Why does Oliver feel the need to wake us up that early in the morning? Even more of us'll be asleep at practice than usual!” George complained, leaning against a column for support as Kylie simply smirked.

Fred glared at her. “Oh come on! Just because you’re not on the team and you don’t have to wake up at an absurd hour-“

“-Doesn’t mean you can’t have some sympathy for us who do have to wake up that early!”

Kylie grinned. “I have no sympathy. It was your choice to join the team. While you guys are freezing your butts off at 6 in the morning, I’ll be sound asleep. And it’s all because I joined Charms club, where we learn real-life skills like how to make forks jump off tables and stab people you don’t like!"

Fred looked at her, fascinated. “You can use magic to stab people with forks? You’ll have to teach me that spell-Oh, look!” He snatched a poster off the stone column. “First Hogsmeade visit of the year in a week! Excellent!”

“We’re running out of Zonko’s products,” George informed Kylie. "Fred used up the last of the Frog Spawn soap when he replaced all of Filch's cleaning supplies with the stuff." Kylie giggled, patting Fred on the shoulder before the twins went off to Muggle Studies, and she to Divination. 

“We will be doing some more work with crystal balls today. Of course, those who possess the Inner Eye have no need of crystal balls, but they are helpful for those who do not possess the Eye” Professor Trelawney said, looking pointedly at Kylie, who pretended not to notice her.

To be honest, Professor Trelawney freaked Kylie out- something about those oversized glasses and her kooky smile just made Kylie's spidey senses tingle. Unfortunately, the only classes open for her fourth period were Muggles Studies and Divination, and listening to a two-hour lecture about the history of the automobile would've been like watching paint dry and chugging the rest of the bucket. Fred and George didn't feel the same way, apparently, because tthis was the only class she had without the two. 

"Come along, tell me what you see," Professor Trelawney said, motioning for Kylie to come closer. She went to look in the crystal ball, as Trelawney watched her. Kylie stared into the glass, not seeing anything outside of a swirling mass of silver and the occasional blob of black. Trelawney watched expectedly, and Kylie decided to make something up. “Oh...well, I see...A herd of Centaurs."

Professor Trelawney looked disapproving as she leaned closer to take a peek at the ball. “No, that's clearly-“ she suddenly gasped and clutched at her robes. The class stared at her expectantly, and Alicia Spinnet, Kylie's best friend outside of the twins, clutched Kylie's arm between her own. Trelawney only shook her had sadly, looking at Kylie with pity. 

“My dear, I'm so sorrry," she said with watery eyes. "Your end draws near...You will soon be transfigured into a small rodent and trampled, meeting a tragic and early demise."

Kylie, who had been expecting something more believable and far worse, simply stared at the Professor for a moment, before she burst out into laughter.


	4. Chapter 4

“Where are Fred and George?” Alicia Spinnet asked, taking a sip of her Butterbeer.

“Zonko’s. I’m not going because I’m broke. Besides, I'm steamed at them right now- I'm trying to prove that they aren't my only friends, because that's that they seem think! You should have heard them the other day," Kylie said, raising her voice into a mock falsetto. "_‘Kylie, what would you do without us? You would be a lost soul, lonely and pulling pranks all by yourself’._ As if! I would probably be known as the best pranker in the school, and I would have tons of friends! What do you think?”

She finally stopped talking and took a big gulp from the tankard of Butterbeer that Alicia had bought her. Alicia raised her eyebrow, clearly amused.

The two were at the first Hogsmeade trip of the year, sitting in a cozy corner booth of the Three Broomsticks. The smoky pub was crowded with cheery Hogwarts students, as Madam Roserta bustled around, arm ladden with trays of Butterbeer and Gillywater. Outside, the leaves fell to the ground in a stream of red, orange, and gold. 

Alicia patted her arm consolingly. “I totally agree! You know, the twins are funny, but they can be really obnoxious at times! Especially during Quidditch practices. But I actually think that they act nicer around you, even if they're still prats," she said with a grin as she nudged Kylie. "Maybe it's a sign?"

Kylie choked on her Butterbeer. She glared at Alicia, and in between coughs, said, “What! No-!” she started coughing again. “You're crazy, Spinnet. Pure, frothing-at-the-mouth crazy. I would never like those slimebags! I'd rather be transformed into a small rodent and trampled!”

Alicia burst out laughing. “Just joking! I know you'd never date them. But I think Lee Jordan has his eye on you.”

Kylie stared at her disbelievingly. “Jordan has his eye on every Gryffindor girl with two legs and a pulse, including you.”

“Mm, I guess you're right. He is a pretty funny Quidditch commentator though- Oh, that reminds me! You should go to the first Quidditch match of the year! I've finally moved from reserve Chaser to actual Chaser, and the first match is going to be amazing!

Kylie sighed. “I dunno...I'd like to go, obviously, and see Gryffindor beat Slytherin's ass-which they will!” she said loudly so the Slytherins at the table over could hear, before lowering her voice again. “But I don’t know. You know I don't like heights, and those Quidditch Stands might as well be on top of Mount Everest!" She sighed. "At least the match isn’t for a couple months. I'll try to get over my fear in the meantime." 

Alicia handed back her own tank of Butterbeer to Kylie. “Hey, it’s okay.You just try your best. You know everyone thinks that the ‘Pranking Queen’ of Hogwarts is so tough. But really, you’re just as human as the rest of us."

“Hey, I am tough!” Kylie protested.

“Mmm… I dunno, Gred, what do you think?”

Kylie and Alicia shrieked, whirling around to look at the voice coming from right behind them. Fred, George, and Lee stood before them, faces wide with mischievous grins and arms full of Zonko's shopping bags.

“You know, Forge, I think she's tough, but not as tough as us.”

“Of course not! Oh, hey Alicia! Will you go out with-“ Lee started before Alicia cut him off with a glare.

“For the twenty-second time, no. And Kylie is absolutely as tough as you.”

Lee sighed. “Fine. Kylie, will you go out with-“

Kylie shot him a slightly disgusted look. “I think you know the answer to that question.”

“Yes?” Lee said hopefully. Fred and George looked at him with pity.

“Forever alone,” Fred said. “So tragic.”

“Yeah, tragic,” Kylie said dismissively, lapping up the last few drops of Butterbeer in Alicia's tankard.

“But Kyles, you just broke this poor boy’s heart!” George said, putting one hand over his heart and gasping.

“Judging by the way he’s looking at Angelina Johnson over there, he’s obviously not that heartbroken. And seriously? Kyles?’

The twins grinned proudly. “Yup. We came up with that nickname for you at Zonko’s. From now on, we’ll only call you by that name,” Fred said.

“Fine, be that way. But I’m calling you Thing One and Thing Two. Fred is Thing One, and George is Thing Two.”

“No fair! I want to be Thing One!” George said.

“Oh, suck it up! Anyways-“

“Ha! She likes me better than you! I’m Number One!” Fred said, puffing his chest out.

“She does _not_ like you better! Kyles, tell him-“

Kylie glared at the twins, but they were too engrossed in their bickering to notice. "BOTH OF YOU, SHUT UP!” she shouted at the top of her lungs, watching as the entire pub fell quiet and turned to look at her. 

“I like both of dimwits just the same, which isn't a lot right now!" She hissed. "Anyways, as Alicia was saying, I am so much tougher than you two And I _do_ have friends besides you guys.”

“I guess you do have friends besides us. But we're much tougher, and we come up with better pranks.” Fred/Thing One/Forge said.

“That’s not true, and we can prove it,” Kylie said confidently. “We’ll have a prank war, girls versus boys. You two are going against Alicia and I. We’ll pull pranks on each other for a week, starting tomorrow morning. Whoever pulls the most pranks wins. If the boys win, then we'll admit that you are better and that we were wrong. If the girls win, you have to admit that we’re better and you have to do an embarrassing dare of our choosing. Sound fair?”

Alicia opened her mouth, aghast. “Kylie! You didn’t even ask me if I wanted to be part of this whole mess! And I really don’t know about this.”

“Oh, come on, Alicia! It’ll be fun! Besides, I’ll take the fall if we get in trouble for any of the pranks.”

Alicia hesitated for a second, before she smiled and shook Kylie's outstretched hand

Kylie smiled widely. “I might just make a rebel of you yet!”

The twins, who had been whispering with Lee Jordan, straightened up. “Alright, you're on. You don't know what you're going against, so be prepared to lose!” George said.

“Yeah!” Lee Jordan cheered, as Alicia and Kylie gathered their thing and stood up to leave.

Kylie smiled wanly as she walked to the door. “Losing isn’t in my vocabulary,” she said. 

Fred said, “I’m sure that losing isn’t in your vocabulary. Your vocabulary is awfully small.”

“Burn!” Lee Jordan said, laughing as he high-fived Fred.

“Thing One, I might not have the highest grade, but my grades are still higher than yours. Now, may the best pranker win!” she said, as she and Alicia left the pub in a billow of robe.

Roger Davies leaned over from the next booth over, looking at the twins with a mixture of pity and amusement. “You just made the dumbest mistake of your life. You never argue with a girl. You may win, but it'll never be worth it. Ever.”

How right he was.


	5. Chapter 5

When George woke up the next morning, he knew something was wrong. He just didn't know what it was, yet. 

He yawned and rubbed his eyes. He felt…different somehow.

“Freddie, wake up!” he whispered, shaking his twin, who groaned and kept his head buried under the covers.

“George, it’s Sunday, you loon! No school, remember? Except for Remedial Potions. But that’s not until this afternoon. Sometimes you’re dafter than-“ Fred broke off, yawning.

George kept shaking him. “Freddie! Get up, you useless lump! Something's wrong, I can feel it."

Fred finally took his head out from under the covers, and George stared at him. Fred looked absolutely ridiculous, with a handlebar mustache, a goatee, and a unibrow drawn on his face. He was looking back at George with an odd expression, as realization dawned on both of them. “Georgie…”

They threw off their blankets and tumbled out of bed, running towards the mirror. Sure enough, both of their faces were covered with black marker scribbles. They both smiled.

“Haha, very funny. But it's an elementary prank. The goatee will wash right off,” Fred said, _Accio_ing a basin of water. They splashed the water over the faces, rubbing over the ink as they waited for the marker to wash off. 

They tried absolutely everything they could think of, but it still didn’t come off. As George rifled through his drawers, searching for a new washcloth, he saw a piece of parchment on his nightstand. He picked it up and read it out loud to Fred:  
  
_How do you like your new faces? We think you look better than ever._  
_ Best wishes, Kylie and Alicia._  
  
_ P.S. Don’t even bother trying to wash it off. It stays on for three weeks, and only we know how to get it off sooner._  
  
Fred and George stared at each other a moment, before yelling at the same time, “They are so going to get it!”  
  
Kylie awoke to the sound of yelling from the boy’s dormitory. Startled, she fell off her bed with an 'Oof!'.

The other girls in the dormitory grumbled and rubbed their eyes sleepily. “Don’t they know it’s Sunday?” Angelina Johnson muttered, groping for her wand.

“The whole lot of them are insane. I need my beauty sleep to get rid of my eye bags!”

Alicia helped Kylie up, beaming. “I guess they’ve discovered it. That was a brilliant idea!”

Kylie smiled, leaning in to hug Alicia before she started poking through her trunk for something to wear. “Thanks! Now we just have to watch our backs for the rest of the week. If I know the first thing about them, they'll have something nasty planned by the end of breakfast."

Alicia shuddered at the idea of the twins' “Let’s get dressed and go downstairs. It’s time for breakfast anyways.”

They quickly dressed and ran down to the common room. No one was there, and they walked out the portrait hole and down the hall without meeting anyone either.

The next floor down, they ran into Peeves, who was emptying all the wastebaskets on the floor. “Oh, I can’t wait until McGonagall sees this," he cackled. "She’ll lose her marbles!” When he saw them, he waved. “Look! It’s Kooky Kylie and Absurd Alicia!”

“Oh shut up, Peeves!” Kylie said. The poltergeist had always been on her bad side, ever since he'd stuck a whole pack of gum in her hair back when she was a first year. The twins had helped her _Tongue Tie_ Peeves, and ever since then, he'd had an extra-special grudge for her.

“KOOKY KYLIE! KOOKY KLUTZY KOOKY KYLIE! KLUTZY KOOKY-“

Kylie and Alicia sprinted the rest of the way down to the Great Hall, hoping that Peeves wouldn’t follow them. He floated after them as they moved down the staircases, before a group of lost first-years caught his attention and he turned to the left, sending Kylie one last mock-salute.

The two sat down at Gryffindor table, loading their plates from the platters of sausages and fried eggs. It was still early in the morning, and there were no more then twenty other Slytherins and Hufflepuff scattered amongst the rest of the Great Hall. Dumbledore and McGonagall were the only teachers at the staff table, and they were in deep conversation with each other.

Alicia smiled as she took a bite of pastry. “When are we going to do Part B of the prank?"

Kylie considered this for a moment. “Soon. Very soon. I was thinking maybe-”

She broke off as Fred and George entered the Great Hall. All noise died down, and the room was silent.

Dumbledore watched, amused, from the staff table. His eyes twinkled with merriment. The Weasley twins and Miss Jones… sometimes their antics reminded him of the marauders.

The twins walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat across from Kylie and Alicia. Gradually, the silence in the hall broke and chatter resumed. Finally, George said, “Very funny.”

“And entirely unfair!”

“We didn’t even get a chance to prepare!”

“Well, all’s fair in love and war,” Kylie said with a roll of her eyes. The twins and Alicia looked at her blankly, and she sighed. “Ugh, nvermind. It’s a Shakespea- It's a muggle saying. I wanted to sound smart. Anyways, the score is Girls 1, Boys 0.”

“At least tell us how to get rid of the marker!” Fred said, rubbing at his goatee.

“Ah...Sorry, we can’t tell you that," Kylie said, as Alicia nodded vigorously I think you guys look rather dashing with mustaches,” Kylie said. Alicia nodded.

“I completely agree,” the two girls got up and left the hall. Fred and George grinned.

“They think we’re dashing!” Fred said excitedly.

“I know! Isn’t it-“ George stopped talking. Finally, he said, “They’re trying to flatter us, aren’t they?”

“Totally. They’re going to pay for this. But first, I need more bacon.”

“Agreed. This pranking stuff is very taxing-”

“-so we'll have to keep up our strength.”

And so, Fred and George enjoyed a nice breakfast, ignoring the giggles as new students walked into the Great Hall, and began to plan their revenge against the girls. For the rest of the morning, Fred and George got strange looks wherever they went, but they didn't care, because they were already used to being the centers of attention. And soon, they would get revenge.

That afternoon, Fred, George, Kylie, and a few other students had Remedial Potions in Snape's gloomy room. When Fred and George arrived, Kylie was already there, setting up her cauldron. She winked at Fred, who smiled. George waved a hand in front of Fred's face, trying to snap him out of it.

“Fred, she’s just trying to flatter you! Don’t believe her!”

As Snape droned on and on about Invisibility Potions, the twins whispered to each other as they finalized their plan for vengeance. Snape finally stopped lecturing, setting everybody off to work on creating their own Invisibility Potions. Kylie chopped up the spider legs, chicken liver, and cherries, occasionally pelting a pit at the twins. As she stirred the silver, bubbly potion in her cauldron, Fred whispered, “Ready George?”

“Ready, Freddie.”

While Snape's back was turned as he berated a cowering third-year Hufflepuff, Fred set off a Whiz-Bang Rocket and sent it flying. The rocket did two loops in the air before sputtering and landing in Kylie's cauldron with a splash. With a resounding _Bang_ her potion exploded, completely drenching her in the silvery substance. She screamed, trying to wring out her robes as her outline shimmered and she turned invisible. Snape whirled around as the class began laughing, with the twins' raucous laughter ringing louder than the rest. Suddenly, they felt something thwack them hard on their heads, and they cried out, looking around to see who'd done it.

“One advantage of being invisible is that I can do this!” Kylie’s voice said. Suddenly, an invisible hand Fred and George by the collars of their shirts, and they were dragged backwards before being dropped again. Snape moved around the room, furiously demanding that everybody quiet down, to no avail. A heavy Potions textbook went flying at them from one corner of the room, then another, and another. Fred and George held up their hands, trying to shield themselves from the flying projectiles as the rest of the class dove under tables to take cover.

“You know Fred, I’m starting to see how this prank might have the potential to backfire on us.” George stated, letting out an _Oof_ as the corner of a book clipped his ears.

“We may not have thought this one through."

  
In the end, Snape took 5 points from Gryffindor and gave the trio a week of detention, but it was worth it for Kylie to see the terrified looks on the twins' faces. The score for the prank war was Girls: 2, Boys: 0, and things had just begun to heat up.


	6. Chapter 6

By next Sunday, the score for the prank war was Boys: 21, Girls: 20, but everyone agreed that Alicia and Kylie’s pranks were better. Kylie had muttered something about quality over quantity when Lee Jordan told the Gryffindor Table the latest tally. 

When the four had said it was a prank war, they really meant it. The twins dropped balloons filled with Confusion Draughts on the girls' heads. The girls enchanted a cauldron so it would follow the twins around, tap-dancing and nasally singing Weird Sister songs (to Ginny's delight) as it drove Fred and George half mad. They got their revenge by turning the girl's robes puke green and neon yellow. Alicia and Kylie retaliated by charming the Great Hall’s forks so they jump off the table and try to stab Fred and George whenever the two got near them. And so the four did this over and over and over.

The last day of the prank war, Kylie was wandering around an empty corridor after everyone else had already settled into their beds. Too caught up in the prank war, she'd left her half-finished homework in the Transfiguration classroom, and after Cho reminded her that it was due tomorrow, she snuck down to grab the parchments. Transfiguration was Kylie's weakest subject, and there was no way she'd be able to write another three inches of parchment on Conjuration.

“Oh well, " she said to herself quietly. "Maybe I can get Hermione to do it in the morning.” As she walked down the hall back towards the Gryffindor tower, she suddenly stopped and listened. She heard distant footsteps and shouting, before there was a much louder _bang _from down the hallway. At that moment, Thing One and Thing Two skidded around the corner, laughing their heads off as they continued to run.

When they ran by a confused Kylie, Fred's hand shot out and latched onto her wrist. With a shriek, she lurched forward, but Fred kept dragging her. “Oh, come on!" he shouted impatiently. "Hurry up or we're dead meat!"

"What’s going on?” Kylie yelled, trying to keep pace with Fred and George. _Damn them and their athleticism. I guess sometimes Quidditch does have its perks over Charms Club. But I still think that the fork-stabbing charm is better than being fit._

“We set off dungbombs near Filch’s office!" Fred panted, tugging on her robe-sleeves. "Run faster, we don’t want you getting blamed for it!"

"Hey, you didn't touch my stash of dungbombs, did you?" Kylie said indignantly, watching as the boys shook their heads vigorously before she laughed. “I never knew you guys cared about me so much! It’s actually kind of touching. But dungbombs? That's such an amateur first-year prank!"

“But they’re excellent distractors!" George called. "Wait until you hear why we did it, you're going to love us forever!” 

Kylie stiffened as they heard Filch's shouting ring down the corridor, before she started running even faster. Fred hissed, before uttering a word that Mrs. Weasley would surely have sent him a Howler over. “He's getting closer! Let’s hide in that closet over there!”

George flung open the closet door before shoving Fred and Kylie in together. The three crashed into a shelf of old textbooks, but thankfully only a few fell on them. They sat in the darkness, hardly daring to breathe as Filch came closer and closer. As they heard Filch run past them, they all sighed in relief.

“The best part is that he can’t even be sure that it’s us! Although, I think he has a pretty good idea,” George said thoughtfully, inspecting the Divination textbook that had hit him on the head.

“What makes you say that, Gred?” Kylie muttered. “Your hands are filthy from touching those things! Anyways, what’s your story?”

Kylie couldn’t see the twins, but she was fairly certain that they were smiling. “Well, we wanted to retrieve some certain items from Filch’s office,” George started.

“So I set off a dungbomb,” Fred said, looking proud of himself.

“-And when Filch left his office, I grabbed the objects we wanted to retrieve-”

“-Everything was going smoothly until his stupid cat saw us and led him straight to us, so we had to make a run for it-"

"-But at least he didn’t see us,” Fred finished. 

By the end of their story, Kylie was dying of curiosity. “What did you want so bad from his office anyways?” she asked, whispering Lumos to conjure a flash of light.

The twins grinned. “This,” George said, pulling something out from under his sweater and proudly handing Kylie two thick folders. One of them said, WEASLEY, FRED AND GEORGE in large block letters, and the other one said, JONES, KYLIE.

Kylie’s eyes widened. “No way! Is that-“

“-Our files?” Fred finished for her. “Yep. We were originally just going to nick our file, but then we decided to take yours too, since we figured that you'd probably want to relive the good ol' days and read your own file."

“Thank you so much!” Kylie said, grabbing the twins in a tight hug in her excitement. Right then, her pocket watch let out a shrill _ding_, making everybody jump before she fumbled around in her robe-pockets, trying to muffle it. The watch read midnight- it was the official end of the prank wars.

“Ha! We win!” George cheered.

“But our pranks were better!” Kylie protested.

“It doesn’t matter. We still win. But Davies was right for once. We won, but it wasn't worth it,” George admitted, rubbing his sharpie goatee. “But for the girls' outstanding effort, we're willing to make a deal. If you make these marker drawings come off of our face, we won't demand an apology, and you won't have to admit that we're the better prankers." 

With a wave of her wand, their faces were normal again. In the dark closet, the twins couldn't tell if she'd actually done it, and she could feel them looking at her distrustingly. Kylie rolled her eyes and said _Lumos_ again so that they could see each other's faces.

“Thanks Kyles!” Fred said. “You know, we actually really missed you.”

Kylie blushed slightly and hoped he couldn’t tell. “Missed you too,” she murmured.

George groaned. “Oh come on, don’t get all mushy on me! Read the files already!”

Kylie grinned and opened up the Weasley file. “Horrible crimes against humanity,” she read. “The crimes are listed below. Running in hallways. Wow, I never knew that that was a horrible crime against humanity.” Fred let out peals of laughter at that. “Setting off dungbombs. Launching water balloons from the astronomy tower. Vandalizing Professor Snape’s office. Oh, I remember that! That was in our first year! Exploding a-“

She never got to finish her sentence, though, because the door slowly creaked open then. Argus Filch stood there, stroking Ms. Norris with one hand as he eerily grinned at them, face illuminated by his yellow lantern.


End file.
